Dearest... 2016: Animaniacs

 

Animated films proved to be some of 2016’s best and, in one case, worst.

Zootopia:
A world of talking animals didn’t sound at first like anything new, let alone special. Boy, was I wrong. Disney dug deep into just what a civilization like that would be like, creating a land not unlike our own with class and racial distinctions and all the complications those entail. And if that sounds a bit heavy, Zootopia is also clever, smart, charming and funny. Most of the animated fare out there these days would be happy to claim to be just one of those. (8/10)

"Word."

The Little Prince:
Unlike Stanley Donen’s bizarre 1974 musical version, this screen adaptation of the classic children’s novella adds a framing device to pad out the story instead of Lerner & Loewe songs. A (computer animated) little girl learns of the (stop-motion animated) little prince from her nextdoor neighbor, the now-elderly aviator (voiced most gruffly by Jeff Bridges). The original story was slight (and strange), and it is quickly overwhelmed by the new narrative that reintroduces the no-longer-little prince as… a janitor? Yeah, still strange. (6/10)

See.

Finding Dory:
Everyone’s favorite forgetful fish takes the lead in this sequel to Finding Nemo, which has Dory in search of her long lost parents. With most of the original cast back, plus some new characters voiced by members of ABC’s Modern Family (ah, corporate synergy!), it tries really hard to be as heartwarming and lovable as the original. But Pixar has become such a well-oiled machine that most of their latest (yes, including Inside Out) feel empty and uninspired. (6/10)

Significant otters.

Kubo and the Two Strings:
Kubo is a one-eyed boy with magical origami in this epic fantasy adventure set in ancient Japan, the latest from stop motion animation studio Laika, creators of Coraline and ParaNorman. Like their earlier films, Kubo is strong on visuals but the story is cluttered and weirdly uninvolving. And in a year when live action films were called to task about "white washing" characters, why not a word about this film, which casts, among others, Matthew McConaughey and Brenda Vaccaro as Asians? (6/10)

Not a single paper cut.

Moana:
Disney's latest musical adventure features it's strongest female character, like, ever (and there's no icky romance getting in the way either). A treat for the eyes and ears, Moana has beautiful animation and great music, especially the big showstopper "You're Welcome" sung by Dwayne Johnson... yes, The Rock sings, and he's the best magical co-lead since Robin Williams' Genie (seriously). The big question: is it better than Frozen? I'll have to let it go with a "yes" on that one. (8/10)

Wait for it...

Sausage Party:
I imagine Seth Rogen thought this was a fuckin' gnarly idea for a movie, sort of like Toy Story but with food. He probably dashed off the script while taking a dump using bong water for ink on some old rolling papers, but then he smoked it so he just invited over all his obnoxious friends (Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, etc.) to improvise some shit up and then somehow got somebody to animate it. Strictly for anyone who thinks a hot dog bun that looks like a vagina is funny. (1/10)

Ladies and Gentlemen: The Worst Movie of the Year.

Reviews by Kirby Holt, Movie Dearest creator, editor and head writer.

Dearest… 2016: Comedy Tonight

Movie Dearest continues its look back at last year in film with some of the comedies of 2016.

Pee-wee’s Big Holiday:
It’s taken over thirty years (?!) and several scandals, but we finally got back the Pee-wee Herman we know and love in this pseudo-sequel to the beloved classic Pee-wee’s Big Adventure. And as a bonus, this time the homoeroticism is front and center (hoyay!), with the plot revolving around the unconventional bromance between Pee-wee and hunky Magic Mike star Joe Manganiello as… Joe Manganiello; never before have you seen an actor commit so fully to spoofing himself. Silly, yes, but also strangely sweet. (7/10)

And he sings too!

Hello, My Name is Doris:
MD fave Sally Field stars as Doris, a kooky mouse of an office drone who perks up when she meets a dreamy new co-worker (New Girl’s Max Greenfield). Field is endearingly relatable as a lonely heart yearning for love, even if it means Facebook-stalking him and causing his girlfriend to break up with him. That Field isn’t more a part of the award season conversation is a shame; she certainly makes Doris shine. (7/10)

This is awesome on so many levels.

Hail, Caesar!:
The Coen Brothers’ stylish valentine to the days of Hollywood studio systems and Communist scares has a lot going for it, from its all-star cast (including George Clooney, Josh Brolin, Scarlett Johansson, Channing Tatum and Tilda Swinton as dueling twin gossip queens) to its period perfect sets and costumes. So why does it feel so flat? Yeah, it’s fun to decipher what real movie legends inspired the characters (such as Ralph Fiennes’ George Cukor-ish director), but they end up nothing more than that, shallow archetypes in a farce that isn’t as funny as it could be. (6/10)

But...

Love & Friendship:
Whit Stillman’s adaptation of one of Jane Austen’s lesser known works stars Kate Beckinsale as the deliciously vapid Lady Susan, a widow in search of a rich second husband to replenish her dwindling fortunes. Scandals in her wake, she single-mindedly strides through the proceedings, ultimately setting her sites on the wealthy yet dimwitted nobleman originally intended for her own daughter. While the performances are fun, the film comes up short; neither as naughty as it wants to be nor as witty as it thinks it is. (6/10)

"Kiss Me", Kate

The Meddler:
Susan Sarandon plays Marnie, a recently widowed New Yorker who moves to Los Angeles to be closer to her daughter only to, well, look at the title. With her daughter fed up with her, Marnie turns to helping other people (including paying for a lesbian wedding) and even finds some unexpected romance with motorcycle daddy J.K. Simmons (Sam Elliott must have been busy). This type of film succeeds or fails based on the strength and likeability of the lead actress, and it’s Sarandon so… yeah, this one’s a winner. (7/10)

When Marnie was there.

Reviews by Kirby Holt, Movie Dearest creator, editor and head writer.

Random Thoughts: Justice League United

With the just released group image (minus Superman of course) of the Justice League, some Random Thoughts... 

... With the two big guys, Ben Affleck's Batman and Jason Momoa's Aquaman, on each end it's more of a beefcake sandwich than a hero...

... Why does Ezra Miller's Flash look like he's been eviscerated? I don't get these superhero costume deconstructions of late...

... Somewhere on the internet right this very minute, somebody is bitching that Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman is the least-clad. I only agree because I want Aquaman to look like this through the whole movie:

There's a lot that Warner hasn't got right about transferring the DC universe to the big screen, but you gotta give 'em props for turning some of the dorkiest comic characters into some tasty eye candy (see also: Jai Courtney in Suicide Squad).

Just think, it could have been "and starring Chuck Barris as Captain Boomerang".

 ... And is it just me, or do they look like they have just landed on a Star Trek planet of the week? Which makes the Flash the red shirt...

All will be revealed when Justice League opens (finally) on November 17.

Dearest... 2016: Superfriends

 

Movie Dearest starts out 2017 by… looking back at 2016. First up: look up on the screen, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s… more superhero movies!

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice:
Is this Warner’s answer to the Marvel money-making machine? Do they really think DC Comics fans want a movie universe where Jimmy Olsen is shot in the head, Ma Kent is kidnapped and tortured and Lex Luthor is a babbling techno-brat? And great Caesar’s ghost, why do they keep letting Zack Snyder fuck it up so bad over and over again? The film’s only pluses are that Ben Affleck is actually pretty good as the Caped Crusader (how about that?) and he has nice chemistry with Gal Gadot as the big screen’s first Wonder Woman, attributes they’ll need heading into the first Justice League movie later this year. Hera help us if Warner hasn’t by then learned their lesson after this one and… (5/10)

If only the whole movie was as cool as this one shot.

Suicide Squad:
A critical punching bag when it first came out, this supervillain mash up is actually more entertaining than BvS, if only in a “can’t look away from the train wreck” sort of way. Too overstuffed (even without the pretty much superfluous Joker, played by Jared Leto as a grilled-up gangsta pimp daddy) and laden with an overly-complicated plot that makes the odd/fatal choice of pitting this ragtag team of ground level badguys and gals against a supernatural being who (shocker) wants to take over the world. Note to superhero scribes: not every outing has to involve an “end of days” scenario. Standouts in the cast: Margot Robbie as fan favorite Harley Quinn and a woofy Jai Courtney as Captain Boomerang. (6/10)

"Howyoudoin'?"

Deadpool:
The other badboy superflick of the year turned out to be a box office smash and, more recently, surprise award season contender. What made it work was its gleeful subversion of cinematic superhero tropes that we've all become acutely aware of amidst this current genre glut. A labor of love for star Ryan Reynolds, who finally found a signature role perfectly fitting his sexy/snarky persona, yet one can only wonder how well this shtick will stick to the fan in its inevitable future installments. Oh, and we call bullshit on all that pre-release "pansexual" talk. (7/10)

Yeah, we said it.

X-Men: Apocalypse:
Upstaged by its loudmouthed red-suited stepchild, the latest outing of Marvel's merry mutants turns out to be the most comic book-y of all of last year's comic book movies, and I mean that in a good way. With a sprawling cast — including Michael Fassbender and Jennifer Lawrence (both looking like that can't wait to move on to other things), a finally bald James McAvoy and Oscar Isaac as the blue big bad — and action set pieces that span time and space, it feels like one of those multi-issue epic tales from back in the day. X-celsior! (7/10)

"Call my agent!"

Captain America: Civil War:
Following The Winter Soldier, the best of the Marvel Cinematic Universe to date, it's no wonder that Civil War doesn't quite live up to its predecessor as a Captain America movie, yet it is certainly a better Avengers movie than Age of Ultron was. Eh, semantics. The central conflict, that of these former superfriends on opposite sides of a vague ideological dispute, is rushed, and a hastily added subplot to introduce Spider-Man into the mix doesn't help the pacing of it all either. But there are plenty of terrific fight scenes, most notably a fanboy wet dream of a conflict at an abandoned airport that gives every hero a chance to show off their stuff. (7/10)

Oh, and it's about time somebody made that smug Tony Stark their bitch.

Doctor Strange:
I was never much of a fan of the "Sorcerer Supreme" in the comics, but I don't remember him being such a cut up. As opposed to the overly dour BvS, this movie takes it too far in the opposite direction, with Benedict Cumberbatch dropping lame one-liners and oh-so embarrassingly interacting with his Aladdin magic carpet-like cape. And when its not trying to crack up the Cumberbitches in the audience, it's trotting out the same three special effects over and over again and jabbering on about "astral planes" and other such New Age claptrap. By the time it gets to the so-called "Dark Dimension" (so brightly colored it must be powered by the Main Street Electrical Parade), I was too wearied by this computer generated smoke and mirrors show to care. (5/10)

"Must... not... fart..."

Reviews by Kirby Holt, Movie Dearest creator, editor and head writer.