Idol/Busch

Today's unrelated announcements that queer theater diva Charles Busch and XXX porn star Ryan Idol will each be trodding the boards in the Big Apple soon is notable for several reasons.

First, the two are both gay icons, though obviously for very different reasons. Second, they both will appear in plays well known to gay audiences. Busch will star in the Off-Broadway debut of his own Die, Mommie, Die!, reprising the role of Angela Arden that he immortalized on film in the hilarious movie adaptation. And in the upcoming Broadway revival of the comedy The Ritz, Idol will play the bit (but hardly small) part of "bathhouse patron". And thirdly: I have met them both.

Now granted, both of these meetings were of the "Oh gee, it's-so-nice-to-meet-you, I-love-your-work, good-bye!" kind, but when you brush up against fame, it sticks with you.

I will recount the less sordid of the two events first. Back in the summer of 1989, my then-boyfriend and I went to Los Angeles on vacation. Our trip coincided with the west coast run of Busch's then most-famous play, Vampire Lesbians of Sodom, headlined by none-other then Busch himself. Having just acted in the Phoenix premiere production of said play, I was thrilled to be able to see the Charles Busch, along with most of the original New York cast, in what turned out to be their final performance there. As a result of a few well-dropped hints to a kindly usher, we met Busch after the show. He was very gracious and even signed my program, which I still treasure.

As for the Idol encounter some years later, my memories are a bit dimmer owing to the locale. It was at the opening of some gay bar in north Scottsdale (now long gone) where free cocktails were flowing and Idol was the main event. He performed a little strip tease dance and was then "auctioned off" to the highest bidder for the remainder of the night. But before his "dream date", Idol took the time to sign some tragically out-of-date publicity shots for the masses, myself included. Idol was trying to be clever (or, as it turns out, as clever as a porn star can be), writing cutesy sayings along with his autograph; you know, things like "Hey Nick, do you like my ....?" You get the idea.

Before I go on, let me say that I love my name. Everybody remembers it, which is nice even if I can rarely return that compliment. However, being a gay man named Kirby can have its drawbacks, considering I share the name with a certain brand of vacuum cleaner.

Yes, I have heard more then my fair share of not-so-original "jokes" alluding to the sucking power of the latest model of Kirby Vacuums. And yes, it gets old. Nevertheless, as I waited in that line to get Mr. Idol's John Hancock (as opposed to his John Thomas), I was prepared to take whatever he dished out (a night's worth of tequila helped too).

"Kirby" I said when he asked me my name, bracing myself for the laughter ... that never came. Apparently, the Idol family didn't have a Kirby Vacuum Cleaner when little Ryan was growing up, as opposed to, oh, everyone else I have ever met in my life. The reference flew right over Idol's over-moussed head as he hemmed and hawed, finally coming up with this little ditty: "To Kirby: On my derby, Ryan Idol."

Yes. "To Kirby: On my derby". He even drew a tiny top hat to illustrate his little funny, even though a top hat looks nothing like a derby. And yes, I still have that photo, although it isn't nearly as treasured as my Charles Busch program.

Click here to purchase Die Mommie Die!on DVD from Amazon.com.

Links via Imdb.com, Wikipedia.org, Playbill.com and Broadway.com.