Out of the Celluloid Closet: 2007 Edition

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Out of the Celluloid Closet: 2007 Edition

You would think that in this day and age, so-called "gay subtext" would have moved up to full out "text" for the most part. But even in 2007, "homosexual tendencies" creeped into various movies, from the tiniest indies to the biggest blockbusters:

Across the Universe- A cheerleader plaintively sings "I Want to Hold Your Hand" to her secret love.
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford and 3:10 to Yuma - Both of these westerns depicted murderous sycophants pining away for their outlaw heroes. Ironically, both actors who played these roles (Casey Affleck and Ben Foster, respectively) are getting Oscar buzz for their performances.
Alpha Dog- Emile Hirsch, Shawn Hatosy, Ben Foster (again) and a buffed and tattooed Justin Timberlake traded homophobic insults and sexual tension with equal abandon in this gritty drama.
Beowulf - Sure, we got a digitally toned Ray Winstone to ogle during in-the-buff battles, but how about this choice piece of dialogue: "There have been many brave men who have come to taste my lord’s mead". Oh my.
Blades of Glory- Hello, professional figure skating ...
Eastern Promises- Vincent Cassel's hotheaded mobster seems to have the hots for Viggo Mortensen's character (do you blame him?).
Knocked Up- In a NSFW deleted scene, Jonah (Jonah Hill) is obsessed with Brokeback Mountain ... need I say more?
Live Free or Die Hard- Bruce Willis' John McClane returns yet again to battle another fey villain (Timothy Oliphant), who at least this time wasn't British.
Sleuth - More sexual tension, this time between Michael Caine and Jude Law.
Stardust- Robert de Niro plays a cross-dressing pirate ... not that there's anything wrong with that.
Superbad- Seth (Jonah Hill, again) is obsessed with penises ... need I say more?
And last, but certainly not least: 300- Homophobic or homoerotic? A new word had to be invented for this beefy slice of sword and sandal-ry: homoeroticophobic.